Look, we’ve all been there. You’re at work, you’re counting down until it’s time to go home, you look at the clock and it’s 4:10, and then two hours later look at the clock and it’s only 4:15. You’re thirsty and the local brewery has a new brew you KNOW will be sold out by the time
you get to leave.
Option A: Email Bill Nye and see if he could maybe prove that your office exists inside a weird space-time warp where time really does pass slower so technically you should be off already anyway, but since he hasn’t returned any of your previous emails it’s probably best to go with
Option B: Ask your boss to let you leave work early to go buy beer. Okay, that sounds like a hard sell. Maybe it would be easier to leave work for a more common or pressing reason, you know, something like, “my kid is sick,” “my spouse’s car broke down,” “I have Corona” (if your boss interprets that to mean a deadly virus instead of a fridge of subpar beer, that’s on them).
But you’re not the type to take the easy way out, are you? No. If you were, you’d be drinking Bud Light with everyone else who settles. Don’t worry though, we’re here for you.
Here’s how to get your boss to let you leave work early to go buy beer.
- The Long Game
This method of leaving work early is our personal favorite, because once completed it can have
repeated success. It does require a little preparation though.
What you need to do is convert your boss into a craft beer enthusiast like you. What does your boss enjoy? There’s a beer
named after that. Is your boss easy to joke with? Make light fun of him for his poor taste in
Bring the subject up a few times to get their interest, and then bring in a four pack of your favorite one day for your boss to try out. We know, we know, spending your hard earned money on your boss of all people may not seem appealing, but once you’ve made a convert, then instead of asking to leave early you can offer to run to the taphouse and see if he needs you to pick him up anything.
You’re not lazy or trying to get out of work, you’re doing your boss a favor. If anything, you deserve a raise. And who knows? Maybe come company Christmas party time you’ll have an expensive taster pack with your name on it under the tree.
- The Short Game
We get it. We can read your mind. “But I’m at work now, reading this article now, wanting to leave now,” you think, “I would have had to start that plan weeks ago although it is brilliant just like everything you guys write.” (That is what you were thinking, right?).
Fine. Here’s how to leave right now, today, to go buy beer.
Tell your boss you have an errand that needs to be handled immediately. Say it urgently, and if necessary (depending on how close to the end of your shift it is), offer to come back after the errand is completed. Usually if you seem desperate and frazzled, the follow up questions are minimal. Keep it vague, keep it urgent, and be halfway out of their office before they have a chance to question your errand.
Obviously the best thing for you to do is turn your boss into a craft beer enthusiast as well so that they understand that it’s an absolute need to leave early to go buy beer.
If you don’t have that long, the short game option has a fair shot at working too, and at least you don’t have to deal with the guilty conscience of telling a straight-up lie- your errand IS urgent after all.
If you have a foolproof way to get out of work early to go buy beer, drop it in the comments. We all need a break sometimes, and we all need a good beer.